By: Peer Muhammad Amir Qureshi
ur Noble Prophet Muhammad S.A.W (PBUH) said “Best among you is the one who is best to his wife. I am best among you in my dealings with my wives.” Extra marital affairs mean having a relationship emotional or physical, between married persons and another one, other than their spouse. Several people claim the reason for extra marital affairs being unsuccessful marriages where both spouses fail to please each other. On the Last Hajj Pilgrimage Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said ‘O people, you have rights over your wives and your wives have rights over you. Remember you must always treat your wives with kindness. Women are weak and can’t protect their own rights. When you got married, God appointed you the trustees of those rights. You brought your wives to your homes under the law of God. You must not, therefore, insult the trust which God has placed in your hands. The person who is having an extra marital affair always lies in order to clandestine his affair. The Prophet Muhammad S.A.W said “behave of lying, for lying leads to wickedness and wickedness leads to hell” Albukhari (6094) and Muslim (2607).
While men are commonly thought to be the ones cheating on their wives after the latter gives birth, a new study assessing women infidelity dynamics has revealed that it’s in fact the modern-age moms who are much more likely to give in easily to temptations and start searching for a prospective lover when their husbands are no longer able to fulfill their expectations. The said study, commissioned by Gleeden – the first portal designed by women for extramarital encounters which has touched a user base of over 10 lakhs users in India – found out that about 48 per cent of Indian women who ventured into extra-marital sexual dalliance are mothers, who have now become wary of their partner’s incapability to sexually gratify them.
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As per the data, the women surveyed are in the age bracket of 30 to 60 years. They are well- educated (78 per cent) and well-placed professionally (74 per cent). Economic independence gives them a positive outlook towards life in general and towards themselves which they don’t want to waste in drudgery and dullness. Hence, they seek excitement and thrill. Quite interestingly, almost 76 per cent rate themselves high in terms of physical appearance and believe their spouses to be less attractive as compared to them. About 64 per cent claimed sexual dissatisfaction due to the complete absence of intercourse in their marital relationship (60 per cent) and disregard of their sexual pleasure from their partners (59 percent).
The countries where cheating or extramarital affairs are unaccepted or said to be morally wrong are all Muslim countries which include Turkey, Pakistan, Egypt, Jordan, Indonesia and Lebanon which is really a good thing in itself. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) was once asked who of all women was the best. He replied, ‘One who makes her husband happy when he sees her, who obeys her husband when he asks her for anything and who does not do anything against his will as regards either herself or his wealth.’ (An-Nasa’i, Sunan, Kitaban-Nikah, 6/68). This hadith very aptly points out a woman’s duties towards her husband. On the subject of their wives, the Quran enjoins men: ‘Treat them with kindness; for even if you do dislike them. It may well be that you may dislike a thing which God has meant for your own good.’ (Quran, 4:19). Extramarital affairs usually result in deterioration in the quality of marriage and sometimes lead to the dissolution of a family. Extramarital affairs not only destroy the families but their children also suffer.
One should always avoid the temptations of getting involved in such relations. One should always avoid spending time alone with the opposite sex. Stay away from the temptations by staying away from that person because in between the two persons of opposite two sexes third one is the Satan (devil).Change your attitude about your marriage. See it as a commitment that can’t be broken. Love flourishes in a relationship where there is complete trust, respect, and acceptance. Have fun with your spouse. Date each other again. How would you treat that person differently if you were trying to win his or her affections for the first time? Always make your spouse your top priority and talk about your problems only with your spouse. Islam gives women enough rights as a religion, it is then up to us, as men, to further their rights and help them attain the level of equality they deserve – because it is they who bear much trouble to make our lives happier and more comfortable. The wife should also take care of his husband and his rights as well. There are no benefits in involving in these affairs whether they are physical or emotional other than spouse. This is totally prohibited in Islam.
In the name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful. O Mankind, have fear of your Lord, who created you from a single soul. From that he created its mate, and through them He scattered the earth with countless men and women and fear God, in whose name you claim (your rights) of one another, and of the ties of kinship. God is ever watching you (4:1). Believers fear God as you rightly should, and when death comes, die true Muslims (3:102). Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said “There is nothing better for two who love each other than marriage.”
The author hails from district Ganderbal and is presently doing DMLT. He can be mailed at firstname.lastname@example.org