Parental Control

Editorial Good Morning Kashmir
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Children are imprinted with the lessons of life from their earliest years. They learn from their parents how to give and receive love. Decades of research in Western countries such as the United States have supported the idea that parental control undermines children’s psychological development. There is a wealth of evidence that when parents exert control over children by intruding, pressuring, or dominating them in terms of their thoughts, feelings, and behavior, children suffer psychologically in contrast to their prospering when parents support children’s autonomy by allowing them freedom of choice and supporting their initiative. Having a balanced sense of autonomy and control is essential to our health and well-being and children too need to have a sense of individuation. Parental control can be either behavioral or psychological. No matter that , parents need to provide adequate structure for the child to learn to inhibit disruptive behavior and engage in socially acceptable behavior. However, when parents go overboard and control every minute details of their children’s behavior, they become controlling parents.

 

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These controlling parents manipulate children’s feelings, thoughts or ideas through the parent-child relationship using guilt, love withdrawal, showing disappointment, disapproval and shaming. In addition, they want to keep their kids emotionally dependent and enmeshed with them. Sub-optimal parenting is associated with depressive disorder in adolescents. Low maternal and paternal care are each associated with a two to three-fold higher rate of depressive disorder.Parental overprotection has also been found to predict increased rates of depression and low self-esteem in college women. Moderate amounts of behavioral regulation and monitoring are good for children. Enforcing boundaries and monitoring are associated with positive outcomes such as less acting out and better academic performance. But when the control is at a high level, the negative impact on children’s development can be long-lasting. Parents who are very behaviorally controlling undermine their children’s confidence in their abilities. Children of psychologically controlling parents are more prone to suffer from low self-esteem, and mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, and antisocial behavior.It is hard for children or teenagers to deal with controlling parenting on their own because they are completely relying on their parents. Asking for counseling at school or requesting to see a therapist can provide the support to get through this.

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