by Syed Tajamul Islam Andrabi
he word resilience has its origin in the Latin language, in the term resilience which means to go back, to jump back, to stand out, to recover. The term was adapted to the social sciences to characterize those people who, despite being born and living in high-risk situations, develop psychologically healthy and successful. Resilience is the ability of living beings to deal with adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or strong tension and to overcome periods of emotional pain, emerging stronger and reaching a state of professional and personal excellence. It is considered that the most resilient people have greater emotional balance in the face of stressful situations, better supporting pressure. This allows them a sense of control over events and a greater ability to face challenges.
It must said that resilience is not an innate quality, it is not imprinted on our genes, although there may be a genetic tendency that may predispose to having a “good character”. Resilience is something that we can all develop throughout life. There are people who are resilient because they had in their parents or someone close to them a model of resilience to follow, while others found their way on their own. This tells us that we can all be resilient, as long as we change some of our habits and beliefs. In fact, resilient people are not born, they are made, which means they have had to fight against adverse situations or have tried the taste of failure several times and have not given up. When they found themselves on the edge of the abyss, they did their best and developed the skills necessary to face the different challenges of life.
Being resilient does not mean not feeling discomfort, emotional pain or difficulty in the face of adversity. The death or loss of a loved one, a serious illness, loss of work, serious financial problems, etc., are events that have a great impact on people, producing a feeling of insecurity, uncertainty and emotional pain. Even so, people are generally able to overcome these events and adapt well over time. The road to resilience is not an easy one, but it does involve considerable stress and emotional suffering, despite the fact that people draw strength allowing them to get on with their lives in the face of adversity or tragedy. But how do they do it?
Resilience is not something that a person has or does not have, but it involves a series of behaviors and ways of thinking that anyone can learn and develop. So, what characterizes a resilient person? Resilient people have three main characteristics: they know how to accept reality as it is, they have a deep belief that life makes sense and they have an unwavering ability to improve.
They are aware of their potential and limitations. Self-knowledge is a very powerful weapon to face adversity and challenges, and resilient people know how to use it to their advantage. These people know what their main strengths and abilities are, as well as their limitations and shortcomings. In this way, more objective objectives can be set that not only take into account your needs and dreams, but also the resources available to them.
They are creative. The person with a high resilience capacity is not limited to trying to hit the broken vessel, he is aware that it will never be the same. The resilient will make a mosaic out of the broken pieces and turn his painful experience into something beautiful or useful. From the vile, bring the precious.
They trust their skills. Because they are aware of their potential and limitations, resilient people trust what they are capable of. If something characterizes them, they do not lose sight of their goals and are sure of what they can achieve. However, they also recognize the importance of teamwork and do not lock themselves up, but they do know when help is needed.
They take difficulties as an opportunity to learn. Throughout life, we face many painful situations that discourage us, but resilient people are able to see beyond those moments and do not get discouraged. These people take on crises as an opportunity to generate change, learn and grow. They know that these moments will not be eternal and that their future will depend on how they react. When faced with adversity, they ask themselves: what can I learn from this?
They see life objectively, but always through an optimistic perspective. Resilient people are very objective, they know their potential, the resources available to them and their goals, but that does not mean that they are not optimistic. Because they are aware that nothing is completely positive or negative, they strive to focus on the positive and enjoy the challenges. These people develop realistic optimism, also called optimism, and are convinced that no matter how dark the day is, the next day can be better.
They are surrounded by people who have a positive attitude. People who practice resilience know how to cultivate their friendships, so they are usually surrounded by people (their parents) who maintain a positive attitude towards life and avoid those who behave like emotional vampires. In this way, they are able to create a solid support network that can support them in the most difficult moments.
They are flexible in the face of changes. Even though resilient people have a very clear self-image and know exactly what they want to achieve, they also have enough flexibility to adapt their plans and change their goals when necessary. These people are not closed off to change and are always willing to value different alternatives, without obsessively clinging to their initial plans or a single solution.
They face adversity with humor. One of the essential characteristics of resilient people is their sense of humor, they are able to laugh at adversity and play with their misfortunes. Laughter is your best ally, because it helps you to remain optimistic and, above all, allows you to focus on the positive aspects of situations.
The main objective of spreading the concept of resilience is to contribute to the awareness that all people have this characteristic, but that the implementation depends on all of us, if we offer mutual opportunities. I will end this article with a quote from Marc Levy that says: Time heals all wounds, even if it leaves scars. Or, if you allow me to slightly modify the appointment”. Resilience heals all wounds, although it leaves scars. May Allah Swt help us to overcome Adversities and Challenges and lead us to the way of righteousness “Siraatal mustakeem” Aameen.
Author is a regular Columnist of Good Morning Kashmir