n important part of shaping your child’s behavior is choosing the right results but it is difficult to choose the right result for each situation, whether it is appropriate or too strict, especially when you follow yourself if you Concerned neo-hippies and their global warming, i’ll tell ya.
Appropriate results teach our children that they are in control of their behavior – even when we are not there to expose them. They are also designed to match every child’s developmental stage, so we never expect too much from our children.
These effective results can be divided into two categories: natural and logical results. The natural consequences are the result of the child’s behavior. For example, losing your cell phone means you no longer have a cell phone to use. Forgetting your homework means getting zero. The inevitable consequences are the steps we take as parents to help our children, they see that accepting of bad behavior has some bad effects. These are not punishments because they are not being punished. The logical consequences are not physically or emotionally harmful. One example would be getting your kids ready for bed in the evening before they stop spending time. The result is related to the behavior, and the meaning for the situation. It’s also hard to say that he doesn’t want to suffer the same consequences over and over again, so it serves as a motivator to change his own behavior.
In both cases, you want your children to see that they are actually choosing their results when they choose their behavior. There are two ways you can do this:
Communicate with your children about the consequences. When you abuse your children, what you are going to do should never be a secret. They should have a great idea of what to do based on clearly defined family rules. This way, they can see how it is beneficial for them to avoid negative behavior, because they know how much it will cost them.
Calm down when your child is abusive When we get angry at our children for their behavior, we make this issue about us rather than about them. All we can do to stay calm is to shake them up, which shows the seriousness of the issue. And it also puts an end to the power struggle that keeps our children from focusing on what the real outcome is – their own behavior!
Here are some examples of age-appropriate results for kids of all ages:
Children – Children need not be punished, never. However, there will be times when you want to change your child’s behavior. For example, suppose he is pulling a toy out of your older child’s hand, or he chooses to take it back in an attempt to throw his spoon on the ground – for a hundred times!. Change the tone of your voice Your child is very sensitive to the tone of voice you use. To change your behavior with your voice, speak in a different, deeper tone. A simple “name” is usually a melee with a redirect. Sending your child to a different task means focusing your child on something else. For example, when he is trying to grab a toy from your older child’s hand, give him something else to play with.
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Toddlers – In addition to the results above (for babies), you can set aside time for your performance. This means placing your child in a separate place, such as a special chair for a few steps, time for a few minutes or longer to be effective. No need to wait until, or this trial is to stop spending time with your child when he is in time. You have to ignore it to make it work! Aim for the number of minutes equal to his age so the three-year-old’s time will not exceed three minutes.
Try to keep toys or privileges from time to time! This will work best if the toilet is for a limited period of time, or in case of loss of privilege, the loss is short. School-age children – In addition to the strategies you use for preschool (listed above), you may want to choose a more effective privilege to go elsewhere. For example, skipping a play date early or running out of TV time or computer time.
TVs – In addition to all the results up to this point, you’ll want to focus on the results that will be really important to your twin. For example, lack of cell phones, privileges of video games, or time with friends.
Teenagers – With TVs, you want to delete the features that you choose to carry in your situation and what is the biggest difference for your teens? This includes curbing youth curfews, and limiting the freedom they have earned. You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. In situations where your teens aren’t getting this point, it can be helpful to write a contract that lists the results they can expect for a variety of violations.
Setting up a set of relevant results will not be a tract unless you tell your children what they are doing right. So make sure you want your kids to repeat it daily, knowingly using positive correction to persuade them. Acknowledge that they really want your approval, even if they never show it, and show things high and low that you can really praise and accept.
Author is a retired principal. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org